We recently purchased a Honda Odyssey minivan, used, from my very generous parents. I've had it for 10 days, and I am in love.
It has inspired me to write this poem, which I hope you enjoy.
Dear Scooby van, you lovely jalopy
my ride these past two years
I love you despite
your inexplicably drained batteries
your inability to go faster than 45
your propensity to vapor lock that has left me stranded
on ever so many roads on the hottest summer days
your junkyard jumpseat, only moderately safe for the children
the "love" and "land" on your doors
I have paid my dues with you
and enjoyed the silence of your missing radio
driving you as I have to
teach university classes
drop kids off at school
check out books from the library
(oh and also) deliver vegetables and flowers
You have been only slighty embarrassing to drive for non-farm purposes.
And not at all reliable, for any purpose at all.
And now, I will ever so gladly dump you for
my new love.
Her name might be Ethel.
She is a new-to-me luxurious minivan with
seat warmers
built in DVD player
6 CD changer
leather upholstery
copious cupholders
seating for 8
low mileage
Please, Scooby, don't take it personally.
It's just that in vans, I have come to prefer reliability
and comfort
over personality.
But just in vans.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
LOL! I purchased an odyssey from my mom for $1, and I. Love. My. Van. RESPECT THE VAN! Best car EVER! So what if my coworkers call me "soccer mom", even though I have no kids. So what if my fiancée bellyaches about my uncool vehicle (he actually loves to drive it, as it is comfortable for someone 6'5"). My van is the coolest. :) Congrats on the acquisition of a kickbutt ride!
Hmmmmmm....maybe take a cue from a driving tip Zac once gave me: "Punch it Mildred!"
I like Mildred... Congrats!
When I read the Facebook post that said you wrote a poem about Vans...I thought you were writing about shoes...silly me.
Post a Comment